My Zeidi came to visit me today. It was so much fun. He’s a big, nice man who kind of looks like a Jewish Santa Claus. He brought me to the window so that I could see what was going on outside. I love watching the people walk by. Rumor has it that he doesn’t hold kids under one year old but my Mommy snapped this picture as proof of what she said she already knew…I’m irresistable.
By the way, check out Simon’s anime impersonation. Not bad, huh?
I know I haven’t written for a while, but I’ve been very busy keeping my parents awake at night. The truth is, I am much better behaved than most other babies, but my parents are big whimps. I let them sleep for 4 hours at a time, and only wake them up to be fed and to have my diaper changed. Sometimes during the day I like to lay awake staring at the kitchen light. It’s really the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen. Well, the street light outside our apartment is also pretty amazing. Well, come to think of it, I find most lights really amazing. I have simple tastes. I digress.
The real reason I am writing, besides to let you all know that I haven’t forgotten about you, is that I will be moving down to Florida for a few months. I’m taking my parents, Lucy, and Simon with me. You see, my dad is going to work there so he can be super-prepared for the new hospital he is helping to open in Manhattan. The way I see it, it’s a win-win situation. I get to stay in Manhattan long-term, and for the next few months, I get to relax in the sun. We are leaving on January 1st at the crack of dawn.
Other new developments are that I smile on occasion–someting I refused to do before because I didn’t want my parents to think they had me under control. I mostly smile when I’m pooping. I just can’t help myself. The though of their faces when they see what I’ve left them in my diaper is just too funny. I also smile sometimes when my mom talks to me in that goofy voice. One day I’ll break the news to her that I was laughing at her, and not with her. My dad, it seems, is too proud to talk to me in baby talk. I can tell when he’s wishing I would smile but just can’t muster up the courage to talk silly to me. It’s so funny, I have to smile. Then I poop in my diaper just to cover up the mistake.
Here’s a great shot of me showing off my translucent skin and teeny nipple. My mom loves drying me off in these goofy hooded towels. We got about a million of them. The truth is they come in pretty handy. Anyway, after a full day of pooping, peeing, and dribbling formula all over myself, I get pretty stinky. There’s nothing like a nice sponge bath to end an otherwise exhausting day of sleeping.
My parents went to Dave and Busters a while back with the people from work. There’s a machine there that said it could predict what their baby will look like. It took a picture of my dad and my mom and combined them to come up with their prediction. Here is D&B’s prediction side by side with the ACTUAL Noah Bessler. You make the call.
There are some rites of passage you’d like to remember and some you’re happy you don’t. When you say you want to pierce your baby girl’s ears as an infant, people look at you like you’re crazy. “Why not give her the choice when she’s older,” they say. I think most girls would be happy to discover that while all their friends are terrified about getting their ears pierced, theirs already are. Besides, if they don’t want them pierced, they can just let them close up, or pretend they’re not pierced–nobody will ever notice. However, when it comes to slicing off foreskins, not only do most people do it on the first day of a baby boy’s life, but the jews make a whole party out of it. Granted we’re all happy we had it done–better than discovering at age 18 that you’d rather be circumcised. But still, you must admit it’s a bit strange that nobody questions the whole thing. It’s almost as if we just accept the fact that we were created wrong. God made us with this extra flap of skin that just gets in the way all the time, so we just cut it off.
On Wednesday, October 19th, at 5:15pm, I had my bris. Thank God I won’t remember it. I’m pretty sure my parents will remember it. I mean my mom lost it about 10 minutes before tip-off. She broke down sobbing and mumbling about barbaric rituals and evil secret plots. My dad calmed her down, and before you knew it, it was over. My mom made my dad change my diaper for the first few days because she can’t stand the sight of blood.
I’ve been recovering fine as you can see. Simon told me he had something similar done when he was a baby–You should have seen his face when my parents told him the difference.
No. Seriously. Hello world! I am 5 days old and I’ve seen just about nothing. I’ve been walking around the streets of Manhattan a bit, so in some repsects I guess I’ve seen more than some people will ever see in their whole lives.
I was born on October 12th 2005 at St. Luke’s Roosevelt Hospital on 59th street and 10th avenue in Manhattan. I weighed 7lbs 9oz and was 21 inches long. I’ve gained a tiny bit of weight since then because I eat like a pig. My parents say I eat twice as much as other babies. In fact, the first night they had me at home I kept them up the entire night because I was so hungry. They were clueless as to why. So I had a word with the pediatrician and she explained to them that they should leave the amount I eat up to me.
So anyway, my parents have spent the past couple of days trying to prove to themselves that they can still do the things they used to do even though they have to take care of me all the time. My dad tries to read while feeding me, and my mom takes me shopping. I’ve been really good so far, because I sleep most of the time. I am really only awake for 5 or 6 hours a day … feeding times. Other than that, I’m fast asleep in my car seat, pack-n-play or laying like a wet noodle on my father’s chest.
I’m gunna go now. I have to get back to my busy schedule of sleeping. Maybe tonight I’ll let them sleep for a few minutes. Later.